this 5 minutes

I am sitting at CVS waiting for my prescription for the excruciating muscle spasms in my back that had me in the ER for 3 hours this morning.  I think ER docs are the worst.  They treat you like you're stupid.  They never trust that patients could possibly know what's going on in their bodies.  I clearly knew exactly what was happening with me today.  I had a severe spasm of my left side erector spinea  muscle.  It was so bad that I had no choice but to go to the ER, but the doctor acted like I was crazy and ordered all these tests and x-rays.  I said I didn't need all that but the doctor said if I died it would be my own fault.  Well, I didn't want my own death  on my conscience, so I had the tests.  Guess what my diagnosis was?  Muscle spasms!  Can you believe it?  Who would have guessed that a patient was actually in tune with the body they live in and could identify the problem without a doctor?  If only I could have written my own prescription!   It's a rare rainy day in LA, so I'm happy I get to wear my funky rain boots.  That's my silver lining today I guess.  

this 5 minutes

I'm standing on this bluff in Santa Monica.  In an attempt to kill 30 minutes between my bike ride from Venice and my yoga class, I decided to walk the two blocks to this spot.  Just looking for some nice little peaceful me time, something larger occurs to me.  I find that I am so annoyed by the loud tourists taking about what size Cheese-Its they like who've walked across the street with me and chose to plant themselves right next to me along the railing.  There's hundreds of feet of cliff here and hardly anyone else, so why are they standing 2 feet from me chattering in loud southern accents when I am clearly trying to have a moment to myself!!  

So, after this frustration hits me, something else slams into me like a freight train- why am I frustrated?  Why do I feel like this is my world and everyone seems to be parking on my dance floor?  Doesn't it belong to all of us?  Isn't it all larger than just lil ol me?   Once I'm over the shock of asking myself these questions, I feel quite liberated.  All those frustrated feelings are holding me back from just being and enjoying.   Hmm, that's a nice shift.   

this 5 minutes

I am watching a crimson sunset over the palms of Venice and Santa Monica.  The sounds of my busy street below are the white noise of my life.  Sitting in this spot I feel completely at home and at peace with my world.  This 5 minutes is good.